This weekend was a wash, I worked later than planned on Friday night. That over exhaustion plus the dread of the blizzard that wasn’t, left little incentive to wake up early on Saturday. Tigger was in agreement, as he let me be for hours until Dad’s shoveling scraped my eyes awake. All in all I felt as if I lost another day.
Work has been busy, with a capital B. For the most part I feel as if everyone (save a few but I’ll leave those observations to myself) is on the same wavelength. We’re in start-up mode, with leaner teams and mountains of work. The day is like water, a real time suck. In the past, I don’t think I ever felt it before, but I had a slight epiphany and in that revelation realized to some degree I’ve lost days. Days. Not minutes or hours, full on days!
time for a change
Last week I started to break free and leave early for “fun” events–dinner with dad/friends, writing groups, getting home early to read–in those few hours alone I was able to detox just enough to re-embrace life. Realistically it shouldn’t be that hard to do (winter cold as an obstacle notwithstanding). I used to engage all the time and at one point I averaged 2 concerts a week! But like any new activity or habit one reintroduces into life, it takes dedication and personal commitment to be successful.
This morning I had a conversation with a guy friend of mine, a new friend just getting to know my idiosyncrasies and flaws. He asked me how I was and in giving him the update I mentioned how I needed to balance my work life, how it would be ideal to have an incentive to leave the office on time. He laughed, nearly guffawing on the phone (and I’m pretty sure he cursed in that supposed cough). Then soon after taking a deep breath, he told me that my incentive had to be me, that the desire to live a better life should be enough to get me out of the four walls of the office, and back into the world.
I think in most cases it’s about being brave, brave enough to keep the promises you make to yourself. Challenging yourself to follow your gut to make the call that changes your life. It’s about flipping perception to try something new, and that first step is always the hardest.
Food for Thought